A Guide to Bra Shopping with your Tween

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By Luciana Oliveira

Remember shopping for your first bra? Other than shopping for prom, it’s probably one of the biggest milestones for your tween. While it can seem daunting, this is a golden opportunity to boost her self-esteem and initiate meaningful conversations about body positivity.

In this article, we’ll provide practical tips on how to approach shopping in a way that supports your girl’s self-confidence. We’ll help you create a positive experience that reinforces her sense of self-worth and teaches her to embrace her body during these transformative years.

Empowering Her Through Choice

Taking your tween to shop for her first bra is about more than just picking something off the shelf. It’s a chance to empower her to make her own decisions. 

Here’s how you can guide her through the process:

  • Comfort First: Help her choose styles that feel soft and comfy. Ask her to notice if anything feels scratchy or too tight. A good bra shouldn’t be uncomfortable or distracting.
  • Checking the Fit: Show her how to make sure the garment fits well. The band should be snug but not too tight, and it should not ride up when she moves. The straps should stay put without digging into her shoulders. It’s all about finding something that feels good and stays in place.
  • Suitability for Daily Activities: Talk about the different types of bras and what they’re for. Does she need something for sports, school, or just hanging out at home? Help her understand which types suit different activities so she can pick the right one for the right occasion.

Making The Buying Experience Enjoyable

Shopping for bras with your teen offers unique opportunities to learn and make choices from the comfort of home. Here’s how to ensure a supportive environment that helps her express her thoughts and feel confident about her decisions:

  • Encourage Honesty: Start by looking at different styles together on websites like Bleuet, which specializes in bras for tweens. Ask her, “How do you think this style would feel on you?” If she’s tried similar styles before and mentions discomfort, dig a little deeper by asking, “What felt uncomfortable about it?” This can help her articulate her preferences and concerns.
  • Normalize Adjustments: Remind her that finding the perfect fit might take a few tries, especially when ordering online. Most online retailers offer detailed sizing guides to help. Stress that everyone’s body is unique, and a design that works for someone else might not be right for her.
  • Reinforce Autonomy: When she shows interest in a particular style or makes a choice to try something new, give her positive feedback like, “That’s a great choice to try!” or “I’m proud of you for considering what might feel best on you.” This reinforces her right to make decisions and boosts her confidence. 

Teaching Her to Trust Her Own Body

This shopping trip is more than just about buying a bra—it’s an excellent opportunity for your girl to become more attuned to her body’s signals and to start making decisions based on her comfort and intuition:

  • Body Signals: Take some time to discuss how her body communicates what feels good and what doesn’t. Whether a bra is too tight, just right, or too loose, each sensation is her body speaking to her. Emphasize how important it is to listen to these signals and respond to them. This can be a foundational skill that extends beyond clothing into overall well-being.
  • Self-Care: Explain that this is part of taking care of herself, similar to choosing the right foods for good nutrition or engaging in physical activities that she enjoys. It’s all about respecting and looking after herself to feel good every day.
  • Confidence in Choices: As she makes these decisions, point out how each choice is an exercise in trusting her own judgment. Reinforce that being confident in her choices now will help her make healthy decisions in other areas of her life as she grows. Praise her efforts and decisions, linking them to her developing sense of self and her ability to care for herself.

Final Thoughts

Buying a bra can be a profound experience for a tween, far beyond the basics of style and fit. By focusing on comfort, fit, and her own bodily intuition, you can teach her it’s about more than not just shopping—but learning to trust herself. This lesson in self-awareness and confidence will serve her well beyond the lingerie department.

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Luciana joined our team as a mum blogger in 2020. A dedicated mum to a lively daughter and a dog, Luna, Luciana brings authenticity and passion to every post. Her expertise in parenting and lifestyle topics offers practical, relatable advice for real-life situations.

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