Adolescence is one of the most beautiful times in a child’s life. Their world is suddenly opened up and there are peers who influence character and decision making.
It’s the time when they are moulded. However, it’s also a time of great uncertainties and chaos as they tend to move past the need for approval from their parents from wanting the approval of their friends.
It sparks conflict between parents and children and often results in negative emotions and turbulence in relationships.
As a parent, you should learn to let go and accept the fact that they are not toddlers anymore who used to climb up to your lap and fall asleep.
Here are some tips for parents who find it hard to build a positive relationship with their pre-teens and adolescent children.
Now keep in mind, that these are not conclusive and no household is like another.
However, we suggest you consider these but also weigh them with your specific case.
Also, consider your child’s personality and state of mind before choosing your reaction when there is a situation.
If you could use some more advice, Bloss has parenting experts on hand to help.
Don’t push too hard
It’s quite common for kids to move away from the warmth of your care as they become more involved with their own lives.
They have friends and peers to look forwards to and it may lead to them spending time with you like before.
However, do not hastily try to push yourself into their lives and assert control.
Also, try to give them space and let them come to you. It’s not a rejection of your authority or love but a mere transition from you being the only source of companionship to acquainting with the newfound friendship of their peers.
Do not distance yourself either
As we mentioned earlier, kids become more independent from their parents during their pre-teen years.
It’s common for them to distance themselves. What your children do not know, however, is they still need you as much as ever.
They just don’t know it is all. However, since they are not mature enough to take severe decisions by themselves, you still need to carefully nurture the relationship with quality time at home.
You can also try having picnics or trips that can lead to spending time together and them opening to you.
Do not make it feel forced, but you should still assure them that they can come to you for anything.
Don’t be quick to judge
It’s common for teens and pre-teens to make mistakes. It’s part of life and we all went through it one way or another.
Especially with outside influence growing, it’s possible that your child may end up in unwanted scenarios and make some wrong choices.
However, instead of jumping to conclusions and blaming them, be gentle and explain to them the mistakes and why those choices were wrong.
This will help them accept their mistakes without the guilt scarring their personality.
Make sure they know it’s only natural to make mistakes but teach them how to make it right and the value of acknowledgement and remorse.
Watch, don’t stare
As they grow older, kids tend to keep more and more to themselves. They do not talk as much and start having secrets on their own.
Instead of being a policing figure who is set out to uncover them all, share with them and listen.
You also cannot be the guardian who goes with your child everywhere they go as that would diminish their self-confidence.
You can try indirect approaches like handing them a GPS child Tracker that allows you to ensure they are safe while still being distant enough to give them their own space.
But be sure to explain to them why this is necessary. As kids, they don’t always know right from wrong and can end up in tricky situations and a GPS Tracker can help you reach them quickly.
Some trackers also come with a dedicated SOS button that kids can use to communicate in case of danger.
It’s a great way to be not intimidating and intrusive but also careful and protective.
It also assures your child that you are there for them and they can trust you to come for help.
Luciana joined our team as a mum blogger in 2020. A dedicated mum to a lively daughter and a dog, Luna, Luciana brings authenticity and passion to every post. Her expertise in parenting and lifestyle topics offers practical, relatable advice for real-life situations.