Some people will claim that a parent should never be ‘selfish’ and that they should always put their kids first. However, there’s a fine line between nurturing and spoiling your child. Sometimes you have to prioritise things ahead of your kids to make them realise that they can’t always have your attention or have things their way. In other words, selfishness in the right instances can be beneficial for your kids. But just when should you be selfish for your kids? Below are a few examples.
When your health is at risk
If you are getting ill, you need to prioritise your recovery. If you don’t look after yourself, you won’t be able to look after your kids. This means asking other people to step in while you get better. This could include getting over a bug or healing after an injury/surgery. Alternatively, it could mean getting some rest and space if your mental health is suffering or you are experiencing burnout. Many new parents occasionally need time to sleep or destress – don’t be afraid to reach out for help or let people help if you are struggling.
When you need to set boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is important as a parent. This involves setting certain limitations such as having a strict bedtime, not allowing kids to touch certain things and making sure kids leave you alone while carrying out chores. These boundaries help you to have your own time and space, while also letting your kids get used to rules and routines.
When pursuing personal growth
Sometimes it’s important to invest in your own personal growth. For example, taking the time to study an online course could help you access better career opportunities. Better career opportunities could lead to greater satisfaction and more income – which could mean that you’re able to provide better for your kids. Personal growth is also inspiring to your kids and can encourage them to set their own personal challenges.
When you’re in need of time alone
Everyone needs time alone occasionally. This could be time to relax or time to focus on personal goals or hobbies. Don’t be afraid to schedule alone time each week. If you can’t get the alone time you need while your child is asleep or at school, consider asking someone close to you to look after your child while you get this time to yourself. This can help your child to realise that they cannot always be by your side – helping to combat separation anxiety and foster independence.
When you have problems that need urgently fixing
Sometimes disasters occur that require urgent fixes. In these emergencies, you may have to arrange childcare so that you can fix the problem in good time. Even if you’ve arraigned plans with your child, you need to show your kids that you’re prepared to drop them when things go wrong. This helps your kids to understand that there are certain issues in life that need to be dealt with immediately and cannot be put off.