When most people picture marriage, they think of two people happy together blissfully in love with a child or two. The institution sounds great especially when one is planning to start a family. In reality, however, things are never as smooth as they seem. In fact, 67% of marriages seem to head down the drain after the arrival of a baby. When it seems like one of you is the third wheel in the marriage, the happiness is bound to decline significantly. Here’s a few ways to try to keep your marriage happy and functional after the baby arrives.
LIMIT INTERFERANCE BY EXTENDED FAMILY
Marriage often means accepting your partner as well as their family and not only tolerating them but also treating them like your own family. Sometimes this works out great, other times, not so much. Tensions are bound to arise when your baby is born as both sides of the
extended family try to put in their stake and claim the baby. Sometimes this comes out a sweet show of acceptance and love, and other times and it is simply too much. This interference, when left unchecked, could be the crack in the wall that is your marriage and will only get bigger with time.
It would be helpful if both you and your partner set boundaries for extended family on both sides and make them known clearly. Take time to be with your partner and baby and make decisions together without getting any pressure from outside.
TAKE BOTH OPINIONS INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN MAKING DECISIONS
All decisions reading your family life, including those affecting the baby, should be made together with your partner. If one of you is constantly making choices without consideration to the other person’s opinions or feelings, there will be a feeling of being ignored and
eventually, one of you will fell like they are being stepped on. For instance, you could involve your partner in making the decisions of the baby’s name, the choice to breastfeed or not or even the amount to spend on them. When one person is left to make all the decisions, they may also feel pressured. You should both be able to take the blame whenever something you both decided goes wrong, or take credit when it works out fine. Visit this site with your partner to choose baby clothes and toys.
GET HELP AND SPEND TIME TOGETHER
A lot of things are bound to change with the arrival of the baby. One of them is the amount of time you spend together. While before you could go out for lunch or dinner during the week or enjoy a weekend getaway every now and then, you will find this to be almost impossible when the baby is born. You will/may both try to understand this change but no matter how you look at it, you will miss the time you used to spend together. You can always get someone to help with the baby while you and your partner take some time off. Don’t let the baby be the little villain getting between you and your spouse. Hire a trustworthy baby sitter and let them take care of the baby while you escape to your favourite spa or camp for the weekend.
SHARE THE BABY
It is okay to be a mama bear, just not with your partner. Remember that you are both responsible for raising the child, and you share the responsibility equally. This means that the baby gets to spend equal amounts of time with both of you. It is understandable that sometimes, one of you needs to be at work while the other takes care of the child. Sometimes both of you are working and the baby is at daycare or with the babysitter for most of the day. Either way, it is important that you let the baby spend good time with both of you. You should also share the responsibilities that come with the baby. For instance, you can take turns to change the baby’s diapers, to bathe them or to walk them. Doings things and spending time together with the baby will help build a stronger bond.
MAKE TIME FOR INTIMACY
Lack of intimacy after pregnancy is an age-old problem that sadly, many couples are still struggling with to date. It seems like a sensitive topic that instead of discussing and figuring out a solution, many couples just opt to ignore and let it tear apart their marriage.
It could be for any number of reasons from being too tired from taking care of the baby to insecurity with one’s body especially after delivery. Whatever the problem is, you should both take the time to talk about and find the root problem. If the baby is getting in the way, have someone help you with them. If you don’t feel great about your body, make a conscious decision to accept it the way it is or do
something to make it look and feel the way you need it to. Whichever way you choose to approach this, you should keep in mind that your baby should not be the end of all the good times you and your partner had before.
WATCH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Mental problems are not uncommon after delivery. Any number of things could stress you out from the overwhelming realization of change to other factors like work. Many women struggle with depression, anxiety and post-natal depression without even knowing it. This in turn affects everyone around them and the partner is usually the pone who suffers the most. If you feel like your mental health is not on the right track, find help and support, even professional, to help you work on it. It is important not just for your marriage but also for
your baby and yourself.
You can indulge yourself in cooking, dancing classes or shopping for baby clothes in this one-stop shop. In conclusion, all the changes that come with a baby are bound to take a toll on your marriage if you are unprepared. Have a talk with your partner to set boundaries and agree on things so that the baby is a gift rather than a start of doom to your marriage.
Luciana joined our team as a mum blogger in 2020. A dedicated mum to a lively daughter and a dog, Luna, Luciana brings authenticity and passion to every post. Her expertise in parenting and lifestyle topics offers practical, relatable advice for real-life situations.