Hello, I’m Luciana, and together with my friend Anna, I run In The Playroom, the #1 In late 2025, Britain is talking about a loneliness “epidemic” for a reason. Recent analysis suggests that almost a quarter of adults now say they feel lonely often or always, compared with just 6% in 2019.
Younger people are, strikingly, more likely to report loneliness than older adults, with around 70% of young respondents saying they feel lonely at least some of the time compared with about 43% of over 65s.
Loneliness is not just a mood. Government reviews class it as a serious health risk, linked to higher chances of dementia, heart disease and stroke and sometimes described as being as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. At the same time, children and parents are under intense financial and emotional pressure. Children and adults in the lowest fifth of household incomes are around two to three times more likely to develop mental health problems than those in the highest.
Against that backdrop, it is not surprising that families are asking how to protect their own little unit. This piece looks at loneliness as a family issue, not just an individual one. It explores why parents and children are feeling lonelier at the same time, how simple craft and play routines can act as a cushion, and how to spot when everyday quietness is shifting into something that needs professional help.
Why is loneliness not only an adult problem?
We sometimes imagine loneliness as something that happens to widowed pensioners living alone. The data tells a different story. Think-tank research drawing on national surveys suggests that almost six in ten adults feel lonely at least some of the time, but older people are now the least lonely age group. Among 18 to 24 years old, around 70% report loneliness at least some of the time, versus just over 40% of over 65s.
Children’s mental health figures show another part of the picture. The NHS “Mental Health of Children and Young People” survey found that in 2023 about one in five 8 to 25 years old in England had a probable mental disorder, up from roughly one in nine in 2017. Loneliness is not the same as a diagnosable condition, but the two often travel together. A child who feels left out, who never has anyone to confide in, or who moves school several times because of housing costs is more likely to struggle with low mood and anxiety.
For many families, loneliness is layered on top of poverty or insecurity. Children in low-income households are two to three times more likely to develop mental health problems, and organizations such as the Child Poverty Action Group warn that children in poverty are more likely to experience psychological distress. When there is no spare money for clubs or bus fares, it is harder for children to sustain friendships and take part in activities that build confidence.
Intergenerational schemes are one of the few bright spots in this picture. Charities such as Kissing It Better bring young volunteers into hospitals and care homes to do craft projects, play games and read aloud with older people. Evaluations and charity reports suggest that the benefits run both ways: older people feel less isolated, and many students say they feel more connected to their communities after taking part, whether sessions happen on a ward or over Zoom.
- Intergenerational sessions often mix simple crafts, songs and reminiscence.
- Children are given structured roles, such as reading a poem or leading a game.
- Older people get regular visits and something new to look forward to.
- Volunteers gain experience of caring environments and meaningful conversations.
Note
When contact between generations is structured and regular, both younger and older people typically report feeling less lonely and more useful, even when sessions are short.
What small home rituals really make a difference?
The good news is that families do not need to recreate a whole charity program at home. Research on family routines suggests that simple, predictable habits can act as a protective factor for children’s mental health, helping them regulate their emotions and cope with daily stress. Studies of family meals reach similar conclusions: eating together regularly is associated with better psychosocial outcomes, healthier diets and lower rates of risky behavior in young people.
Note
A “ritual” does not have to be elaborate. What matters most is that it is regular, shared and has a clear emotional tone, such as curiosity, silliness or gratitude.
One easy starting point is a weekly board game or puzzle night. For younger children, that might mean a predictable Friday evening on the floor with snakes and ladders and hot chocolate. For older kids, it could be cooperative video games on the sofa or a rotating “host” who chooses the game and snacks. The point is not competition. It is building a slot in the week when everyone is physically in the same space, doing the same thing, and not rushing off.
Crafts and printables can become connection tools rather than just rainy-day entertainment. A “thankful tree” on the fridge, where every family member adds one leaf each week with something they appreciated, makes gratitude visible. A home-made “pen pal pack” sent to grandparents or cousins – drawings, a short letter, perhaps a small craft – gives children a reason to think about people outside the house and to practice putting feelings into words. When you send pictures of those projects to older relatives or an elderly neighbour, a quick photo crop keeps the focus on your child and their creation rather than on the family calendar or unopened post in the background.
You can build a small menu of micro-rituals and rotate them over the month:
- A short, screen-free family meal once or twice a week.
- A shared reading corner where you all read your own books side by side.
- A “craft club” Sunday where everyone makes something, however small.
- A ten minute “rose, thorn, bud” check-in (one good thing, one hard thing, one thing you are looking forward to).
Parents sometimes worry they will not stick to a big routine, so it can help to start tiny. A simple Sunday night “plan the week” drawing session at the table – everyone sketching one thing they want to do or feel – can be enough. If you share a photo of that drawing with a class WhatsApp group or a community newsletter, a simple photo crop can also cut out other children, addresses or sensitive information before it goes anywhere public.
Routines are not about forcing everyone to be cheerful. On tough weeks, the ritual might just be a joint decision to sit under a blanket and listen to an audio story. Giving children some choice over the activity – which craft to try, which story to pick, who to send a card to – supports their sense of agency, which itself is linked to better emotional regulation.
How can you tell when quiet is more than shy?
Every child has their own temperament. Some are naturally reserved, slow to warm up, or happy playing alone. The challenge for parents is spotting when a child’s quietness is starting to signal distress rather than personality. Guidance from the NHS and child mental health charities stresses that the key thing to watch is change: patterns that persist for weeks, not one grumpy afternoon.
Note
Focus less on whether a child is “shy” and more on whether their mood, energy and social habits have shifted noticeably from their own normal over time.
Common signposts include clusters of changes, rather than a single symptom:
- Social signs: withdrawing from friends, avoiding playdates they used to enjoy, suddenly sitting alone at school or refusing clubs without a clear reason.
- Energy and sleep: trouble getting to sleep, frequent nightmares, or sleeping much more than usual and still seeming exhausted.
- Appetite and body: big shifts in appetite or weight, new complaints of headaches or tummy aches with no obvious medical cause.
- Everyday functioning: falling behind at school, losing interest in favorite activities, or seeming unable to concentrate on games and conversations.
Context matters. Children in low-income families face higher risks of mental health difficulties, partly because of parental stress, housing instability and lack of access to activities others take for granted. Research is also beginning to show that loneliness in childhood can be linked to cognitive decline and dementia risk later in life, even if adult loneliness is not present, which underlines how important early support can be.
Sometimes, a child’s reluctance to be seen or shared is a useful clue. If they repeatedly delete photos of themselves, refuse to appear on family video calls or panic about you sending pictures of their projects, it is worth exploring gently what feels uncomfortable. Inviting them to help decide what gets shared and how it looks – for instance, by sitting together to do a photo crop so only their painting or Lego build appears – can give them more control and open up a conversation about what feels safe or exposing.
How do you get help without making things scarier?
Parents often worry that “making a fuss” will frighten their child or label them. At the same time, the scale of need is hard to ignore. NHS figures show that in 2023 roughly one in five children and young people aged 8 to 25 had a probable mental health condition, and nearly a million children in England were referred to mental health services in a single year.
Note
Early, calm conversations combined with timely support tend to work better than waiting until a crisis; it is not overreacting to seek advice when your instincts tell you something has changed.
A good starting point is to stay alongside your child rather than leaping straight into solutions. That might mean using familiar routines – a short walk after dinner, a shared craft session, a quiet car journey – as a backdrop for simple questions such as “How are things with your friends at the moment?” or “Has anything been feeling heavier this week?” Let them set the pace and resist the urge to fill silences.
From there, support can be layered up:
- Talk to school early. Class teachers, pastoral leads and school counsellors see patterns across the day that families cannot. Many schools now have Mental Health Support Teams funded by the NHS, who can offer brief interventions for mild to moderate difficulties.
- Speak to your GP. If you are seeing persistent changes, your GP can rule out physical causes, record what is happening and, where appropriate, refer to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) or local early help teams.
- Use helplines and charities. Organizations such as Young Minds, Childline, Place2Be and Action for Children offer advice for parents and confidential support for children. They can help you plan conversations, understand school options and identify local services.
- Look after yourself. Parenting in a loneliness and cost of living crisis is exhausting. Accessing your own support – through friends, peer groups or talking therapies – makes it easier to stay steady for your child.
It is important to be realistic about the system. Reports from the Children’s Commissioner and news coverage have highlighted long waits for specialist beds and community support, with some children still being sent far from home for treatment despite pledges to end this practice. That is not a reason to give up. It does mean that the small, everyday routines you control at home – reliable bedtimes, shared meals, tiny craft rituals – remain crucial buffers while you wait for formal help.
If loneliness or low mood tips into crisis – talk of self-harm, feeling that life is not worth living, or a sense that your child is at immediate risk – this is an emergency. NHS guidance is clear that you should seek urgent help via NHS 111, your GP’s emergency line or A&E, in the same way you would for a physical health crisis.
Conclusion
Loneliness in 2025 is not a niche problem. It is affecting children, teenagers, parents and grandparents at the same time, in a country where many families feel squeezed by money worries and time pressure. The research is stark about the risks, but it is equally clear that everyday connection matters. Regular, predictable routines – shared meals, crafts, board games, reading corners – offer children a sense of safety and belonging that can buffer them against a harsh wider world.
None of this replaces professional support. One in five young people having a probable mental health condition is not something that can be solved with a glue stick and a board game. What these small rituals do offer is a soft landing: moments where children can name feelings, practice asking for help and experience being valued. Combined with timely use of GPs, schools and charities, they form part of a realistic, compassionate response to a loneliness wave that now touches almost every household.
For parents, the message is simple rather than easy. You do not need to be a therapist. You do not need to fix everything alone. You do, however, have enormous power in the way you structure the week, notice changes and stay emotionally available. In a lonely country, a regular craft night or five quiet minutes with a shared book may not feel radical. For a child who is starting to feel that no one really sees them, it might be exactly the anchor they need.
FAQ
Is loneliness in children really that common in the UK?
Yes. Surveys suggest that younger people now report higher loneliness than older adults, and NHS data shows that around one in five 8 to 25 years old in England has a probable mental health condition, which often goes hand in hand with loneliness.
How can I tell the difference between shyness and a problem?
Shyness tends to be consistent and does not usually stop a child doing things they enjoy. Concern is warranted when you see a clear change from their usual behaviour over several weeks, such as withdrawing from friends, big shifts in sleep or appetite, and losing interest in favorite activities.
We are short of money. Are simple routines really enough to help?
No routine can cancel out poverty, and children in low-income households face higher risks of mental health difficulties. However, research suggests that stable, predictable family routines can help protect children’s mental health and support emotional regulation, even in stressful environments.
Do I always need a CAMHS referral if I am worried about my child?
Not always. Schools, GPs, community organizations and helplines can all offer support, and many difficulties can be eased with early, low intensity help. If problems are persistent or severe, your GP can discuss whether a CAMHS referral is appropriate and what to do while you wait.
What if my child does not want to talk about how they feel?
It is common for children to say they are “fine”. Using side-by-side activities – drawing, crafts, walks – can make talking feel less intense. You can also let them choose who they want to talk to, such as a trusted relative, teacher or helpline, so they do not feel backed into a corner.